Be a simple kind of man

December 8, 2009 § 1 Comment

I just met up with a girl I know from my time in the Die Ärzte fandom – it’s a small fandom, literally everyone knows everyone, and I’m not entirely sure why I just dropped out of it about a year and a half ago. We had a nice time, hanging out at Starbucks and talking about pretty much everything… but at the same time, I realized how much I’ve changed in the past couple of years.

I used to have these high-flying dreams of fame and fortune, like you do when you’re a teenager. I idolized more people, and with a much higher intensity, and wished for fame so I could meet them in person, on the same level. I wanted to be a famous graphic designer, or a famous tattoo artist, and I wanted a huge house with an even bigger yard and at least two or three cars and… you know. Everything.

I don’t know what changed. Maybe I just grew up. But today, when I was talking with Alex and thinking back on my DÄ high time, it hit me like a brick: Right now, I truly have everything I need. Everything I want.

Time was I always wanted the newest computer, mp3-player, CD. Now I don’t even bother updating the programs on my computer. The music I listen to the most at the moment was mostly written long before I was born. I buy clothes when I need them, when others wear through. Hell, I mostly wear the same six or so sweaters, and I own two pairs of pants.

I’ve realized what I like best are the simple things in life – simple food, good friends, knitting. I might be a bit of a yarn snob, but even that… I used to want only cashmere, only baby alpaca. I still love those, who in their right mind wouldn’t, but I appreciate them more as an occasional treat. Just like steak.

This past weekend with my parents, and we were going everywhere by car, I realized how much I enjoy walking and going by tram. Even grocery shopping isn’t as terrible as I once thought it was. I used to want fancy vacations, the ten days in London with crappy fast food and sharing a room with the guys was one of the best trips I’ve ever been to.

This year’s winter boots are the ones I bought last year, a pair if plain, black Dockers boots. I count dry, warm, handknit socks after a bath among my greatest joys in life. I’m even less of a party person than I ever was; my idea of a perfect evening is hanging out, watching something, and talking. The beverage I drink at Starbucks might be fancy, but it’s always the same, and exchanging a couple of friendly words with the baristas is one of the highlights of my day. Other highlights include cooking dinner, and jobs well done, be it a knit item or a translation or writing a couple of words on index cards. Praise from my teachers is secondary, but I revel in the knowledge of having done something right.

Some people might think it’s sad, to want so little from life. A younger me might have agreed with them. I know my ex-best friend certainly would, but then, she lives a glitzy life at a super-exclusive private college and will probably end up in some big corporation’s management in less than ten years.

To be honest – I think people like that are missing out. Big time.

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§ One Response to Be a simple kind of man

  • Simple is better. The process when you go from idolizing everyone and everything and wanting fame and fortune is, in my mind, what happens after you really get a good look at the world. You realize that one in a thousand, if that, are remembered.

    I’ve settled for being remembered by those who love me. I think it’s worth more than being learned about in History class for my misdeeds.

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